Lesson

In case my readers wonder if I am still dis-coloured? Thanks for your kind thoughts. I am fine now cos the dis-colouration due to the spray tan is gone though there are still little marks (hopefully not prominent) around. I guessed I learnt a good lesson.
Sometimes, in life, we have to go through some 'pains' to gain some wisdom. That's about life, right? While I may sound upbeat, I am still wishing...wishing for the special moment that I can possibly become a ..... (dreamz)

Loyal?

I am not a patriotic man but I do like some National Day songs, esp the older ones like Count on Me, Singapore. Today, I heard a song 国家 sung by some children from China who was at my school. I am touched. The original singer is Jackie Chan, I heard but I don't really like his version. I like the kids version -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhjsQqnpilc&feature=related
The lyrics that tug my heart.
其实一个家 一心装满国
一手撑起家 家是最小国
国是千万家 在世界的国
在天地的家 有了强的国
才有富的家 国的家住在心里
家是幸福的 洋溢国的每一寸土地
家的每一个足迹国与家连在一起
创造地球的奇迹
家是我的家 我爱我的国
我爱我的家 国是我的国

My Priorities

I recalled reading somewhere that if one were to answer that "it's only a job" to a question of "Do you enjoy your work?", then probably, that person is a wrong fit.
While it may seem that I am a right fit, I know it is not. I shan't go into the details but I know that my priorities are clear - certainly not safety nor security that I have to ensure, nor how the young can be groomed. My wish is to be a top notch sought after person so much so that I impress with my knowledge and skills on a subject matter. I am not sure if this dream can be fulfilled but I know if I don't even try, I will never get near it.

In Search of ...

Excellence? haha...as if I care. I know I should be guilty but my heart is not really with the young anymore. I am now looking for that special someone who have trust in me, and have the ability to 'turn' me around - to be a good-looker (groom me to be a handsome prince, esp my hairstyle and dressing) or give me a job that I fancy doing.

First Move

Life is like that.
One right move, all things seem to fall in place.
One wrong move, everything seem to fall apart.
But what is right or wrong, only we know it ourselves.
Hence, the first move/step is critical. Once a celebrity, always a celebrity.
I am sad that I am not, and hard to be one.

Affinity

All of us would have affinity to some people, things etc... We like some, we hate some or simply can't click with some.
Me too... there are some people that I 'will not forget for the rest of my life', not because they have treated me well but they were just 'jerks that have in a way damaged my confidence' - they are abbreviated as JL, JP, MY, CB and some others during my army times.
We know that the right thing to do is simply to 'move forth' and not 'look back', and it is certainly easier said than done.

Clips

Was attending a work-related workshop today where the trainer interspered it with lotsa video clips. Some of the clips were really inspiring and cool....I am not sure where he got it but I managed to find one below .... check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ve4M4UsJQo
As I ploughed through youtube thenafter...I saw the following clip (a bit gross) but I tot the message is clear.
We live once. We make the best in our living years...haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uswvZul1Z2s&feature=related
I know I am not a creative person ... thou specialising in media was one of my uni ambitions thou.

Uncle

I still have the habit to call other 'older' men uncle...when in truth, i am an uncle myself.
I smiled to myself when I tell my children - please check with the uncle at the counter.
I also feel guilty when I call the cleaner 'uncle, please help me to clear the table'.
I do feel offended when young(er) children call me uncle (faintz) when I wish I can be forever 'brother'.

Lack of Rest

Have been yawning a fair bit lately. Lack of sleep and rest, I guess.
Why? Hooked onto the computer, viewing the Dow Jones. Seems exciting, the DJIA stock market.
My FS Master "Sifu" once advised that ...if our body is tired and sends the signal of fatiuqe, go and get a rest. I am doing so .....now

我输了

Suddenly, I feel that I have lost a battle... a battle against myself ...cos, it is just so draining to be doing something that one doesn't really enjoy doing. I know in life, we may not always make the right choice, but it is the experience we gain at the end of the day.
Maybe, I really need a rest, a change, a breakthrough...soon.

Life should get better

Like I say before, Taiwan Idol Dramas just tug my heartstrings... This drama is coming to an end soon ...and this episode is just so touching ... Like the lead actress said "I must make sure that I live better tomorrow as compared to today." We should not be worse off tomorrow.
http://8dimentions.com/ps-man-episode-20/7/

Fairy Tale

I know I dun live in fairytale land, so I can't expect fairy godmother to grant me a wish.
Dramas can be deceiving at times. How can a childcare centre teacher become a director of a childcare franchise overnite? She did it. Movies, movies...so dramatic. I can't visualise myself being a celebrity overnite? haha
http://8dimentions.com/ps-man-episode-20/1/

Be my boss?

I had this strange dream/thought - maybe, I can try to be my own boss, and work in partnership with my ex-colleagues to set up a Comms agency to help the small companies on media buys and pitches. This may not be my forte but it has always been my love to do media comms related work ...such as TV and Radio spots and sponsorships etc...

5C

Most of us in Gen X (born before 1976) would have strived for the 5Cs - Card, Car, Cash, Career, Condo. I would not say that I am there but after more than 15 years of working, I have a number of cards (those with free waivers), car (can only afford a korean brand), cash (~6 months of pay for emergencies), career (a stable job but not fulfilling as yet) ....I have one more C to go and thatz condo. When I was much younger, I wish that I can stay in a condo where there is a swimming pool and a gym. That way, I can take a dip or exercise 'conveniently'. [I actually make it a point to go to the gyms wherever I am abroad on holidays.] Property prices are skyrocketing now...so, have to wait ...meanwhile, need to save (and invest) with a little hope to own a condo...but certainly I am mindful that I should try to be debt-free by 60 ...and not like some who had to slave even in the old age just to pay off the debts. My current HDB house should be fully paid for in 2-3 years' time.

Attractive

People usually judge 'on first look'. Attractive people usually stand a chance to be noticed and same goes for eloquent people. There is usually a group of working bees who may go unnoticed till much later, when their strengths are surfaced and seen. I should belong to the 'working bee' category. However, I am not confident that I am "sighted at" first look.

U watch, I watch

haha....now is the finals of the World Cup 2010...since most football fans are watching, i tot i should get up and join in the fun today...haha...unfortunately, i am unable to take leave on Mon to catch up on sleep...Another minus point of the job...

Blog

I wonder if I should dedicate a specific post for songs that I love...or on certain aspects to lure in more readers so that I can be a celebrity blogger ...haha... oops there i go again....(day)dreaming at this age. While I know the need to stay contended, but there is still a little urge to want to do 'something different'.

Mysterious Visitor & Update

I have noticed a (several) mysterious visitors to this blog of mine and left inspiring and philosophical comments for me. I am grateful. Either my readers are widening or some friends of mine are encouraging me in anonymity. Whatever it is. Thank You for the care and concern.

I have seen the doctor on Sat. She said it is probably uneven discolouring ...should be OK after the colour fades off ... I need to apply sunblock for this period. As such, I also, on the precaution side, stay away from exposing myself (the hands) to the sun. So, no outdoor running for the next 2 weeks. Certainly, a lesson learnt for me. Not to 'FAKE IT'... and to learn to accept the way I am instead of trying to be 'someone' else.

Price of Vanity

I cried. Cos, there is now a white patch around my left & right arm-hand joint area cos of the fake spray tan that I did (out of vanity). I am so sad. I may not be perfect looking again.
That's the price of vanity I am paying now.
Can someone or some product save me?
http://www.antivitiligo.com/?gclid=COfv_-2l3KICFQFB6woddG8mwQ

Peeling and Fading

Peeling...unsightly...thatz whatz happening at my 'arm elbow bend' area... and my whole shirt was stained by the spray yesterday. On hindsight, maybe, it is better to remain 'natural'... this form of spray tan is aka 'henna painting on the whole body skin' .... such 'fake it' may not be really worth it - the 'hassle of bearing with peels/fades' which may unintendedly harm the skin. If and unless it is to create an illusion ....for once, can try it ...but as a 'more permanent form' of appearing tan, i guess i wun want to try it again thou.

Bronzed

Some of you know that I fancy having tanned or bronzed skin.
However, I am not really an outdoor freak nor play outdoor sports.
So, had to resort to other means to achieve what I desire.
Just today, I tried something new - spray tan...quite interesting but the stains on the clothes after that is no fun... impact wise, I think the indoor tan lasts longer, but this mode gives instant results but lasts no more than 2 weeks, I understand.
http://www.pinkparlour.com.sg/
Since life is not long, do what we desire ...and live a fun life.

Song 21 [Chinese] : 愛很大

Heard this song on radio 2 days back. Was impressed by the vocals.
Sung by this gentleman who wears a mask and call himself - waterman.
Searched the youtube...wow, interesting. he is not superman, spiderman nor batman
His costume is interesting too....haha...good physique ...and certainly charmed the female and male (haha) fans...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLrMcCmccPU&feature=related
Love is certainly good....it moves mountains and heart!
I know I need to learn how to love more.

彻底崩坏的 重生了
曾经伤害的 愈合了
不愿离开的 回来了
害怕孤单的 幸福了
看爱的夜空有流星的河
听爱的心中奇迹在唱歌

冰冷冻结的 融化了
哭泣流泪的 微笑了
支离破碎的 完整了
枯萎凋谢的 开花了
看爱的天空有和平的鸽
听爱的心中交响着快乐

Wake

Attended the wake of the late fathe of a colleague/staff on Fri evening.
When one attends more wake than weddings, that is an indicator that age is passing by past.
He was 82. I am 41 this year.
He just collapsed and died. Besides old age, some other ailment but not the serious kind. He had a flu, I heard and possibly due to pneumonia, the heart was too weak to distribute the antibodies. I believe he had lead a full life. That's his life.
What about my life? At the half way mark, I looked back and thought, where and what do I want to do in life? Are there some things that I yearn to do but not do yet? Is so, am I going to take action and do it?

At the wake, another colleague also shared some 'scarey' enounters that her late aunt related to her before the aunt passed away 2 months back - at age 73. It seems that at one's deathbed, one 'goes back in time' and reflect. Also, one can see the people from down below to catch your soul....eeyee.....scarey. I dun want to think further. The day will come to all of us someday. Let us cherish our living moments.

Exaspera

I am feeling a little exasperated. No calls. No emails. In vain.
Am I not good enough? Or have I asked for too much?
I am not sure. I am just waiting for someone ...to get me out.

At the same time, I can feel the warmth of the people in my job.
They do take good care of me, not becos of my position, I hope.
They have been really supportive and nice to me.
But I tend to worry a lot about ... (it is just me perhaps).

If I attempt to run away now, do I appear to be 'betraying'? I am not sure.